Second Chance Month, Dog Reunion, and Other News Fresh From the Farm
Inside: April 2018 declared second chance month, when dogs reunite, and the tax man remaineth.
April 2018 Declared “Second Chance Month”
Second chances. . . . Something I’ve been pondering lately. Here is what got me to thinking about it.
The White House as well as several states and cities have declared April 2018 as “Second Chance Month.” Prison Fellowship is behind the push for the declaration, advocating second chances for the one in four American adults who have a criminal record and face thousands of legal restrictions and social stigma limiting access to jobs, housing, education, and other necessities for a better life. It’s a great idea to encourage second chances, hope, and new beginnings for those who have been in prison.
But beyond this great idea, what got my attention was the simple notion of a second chance. Generally speaking, second chances work for the rest of us folks, too. How many times would I have liked a second chance? A do-over. An opportunity to correct a mistake.
And, more importantly, how many times have I denied someone that same opportunity? While I’m not in any position to refuse employment or housing, how many times have I simply given up on someone? Ignored that person or went out of my way to avoid him or her because of a bad encounter from the past?
Forgiveness is not an easy path–whether the offended or the one offending. But we’ve all been in need of a second chance.
Multiple chances, really.
When Dogs Reunite
When major life events happen, we’re not the only ones affected. Our pets deal with the change as well. When my cousin and neighbor Phil passed away, his sister took his dog Spunk to live with her family. Spunk and Mom’s dog Honey spent a lot of time together, running around our farm and Phil’s, so when Spunk suddenly wasn’t there, Honey felt the loss.
The other day Mom and Honey were in the house when Honey started barking loudly and pacing as though someone were outside. But no one was there. Honey ran to the door to be let outside and quickly disappeared around the side of the house. At the same time Spunk came from the other direction. Honey ran back, and the two of them met and darted back and forth around each other, sniffing and playing and trotting off together for a while. Phil’s family had gathered in his house for a meal together, and his sister had brought Spunk with them for the day.
Although I wasn’t there to see it, the thought of Honey and Spunk together makes me smile. Phil’s family has promised to come out to the house from time to time, so I imagine more summer days with Honey and Spunk romping and playing around the farm together.
Just like old times.
The Tax Man Remaineth
Mike and I picked up our taxes the other day. Just like any other year. Same place, same before the deadline time frame. Same everything, really. We’ve been going to Don’s since we were first married, and for me, it’s been even longer. Don was Dad’s tax man, and because of the daughter and farm connection, he became my go-to guy from the time I first filed.
Anyone who knew Dad also knew how cantankerous he could become around tax time. (For farmers, filing comes earlier than the average citizen.) Once those tin coffee cans graced the kitchen table, watch out! Although he was pretty proud of his coffee can receipt system, he was often in bad sorts during the process. The silver lining in the whole ordeal? Stopping in at Don’s to talk for an hour or so to drop off tax papers, and again to pick them up.
To be honest, Don’s service isn’t the cheapest. Over the years Mike has gotten well-meaning advice from those city suburban types he often encounters at his work, telling him he ought to go to this tax place or that tax man. People who could find us more deductions. And didn’t we know we were paying too much? Admittedly, in recent years, we’ve considered it.
This year Don was there to greet us and quipped to Mike, “When are you going to bring back the sun?” Without missing a beat, Mike answered, “Soon.” Don laughed.
We stood and chatted for a few minutes about family and farming, and he thanked us for our business. Seeing Don there, sitting behind his desk, he reminded me of Dad. Similar age and build and demeanor. The connection did my heart good.
Once back in the car, I turned to Mike. “We’re never going anywhere else, are we.”
He shook his head with that knowing glance that told me he felt the same.
So maybe we aren’t the type of people who always seek out the best way to save money or do things more efficiently. “This is who we are,” I said to Mike. “And I’m not going to apologize for that.”
This is who we are. And there’s something liberating in knowing and accepting that.
What’s happening in your neck of the woods? Tell us about it in the comments.
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We’ve Been Nominated for a Sunshine Blogger Award
Inside: We’re doing something a little different today. I’ve been nominated for a Sunshine Award, and with the honor come ten questions. So, up close and personal, here are my answers.
Margo L. Dill from Look to the Western Sky, who is a talented author, fellow blogger, and good friend, nominated me for a Sunshine Award. Answering ten questions goes along with the honor. Here are the rules:
- Thank the person who nominated you. (A huge thanks, Margo, for thinking of me!)
- Answer the questions from the person who nominated you.
- Nominate other bloggers for the award.
- Notify the bloggers you have nominated them.
- Hope they link to your blog in a nice post where they answer these ten questions.
Without further ado, here are the questions.
1. What do you love most about blogging/writing?
I love coming up with a topic, developing it, and finding or taking photos to go with it. Blogging is my favorite creative outlet in this season of my life.
2. Name a place you’ve never been but would love to visit and why?
Scotland. I’m not sure if it’s the castles or the charming accents, but I’m intrigued.
3. Describe your favorite snack.
Cheese popcorn, although right now nachos sounds really good. The problem is I’m doing keto, so nachos with tortilla chips is nada. I admit to buying small bags of cheese popcorn every once in a blue moon, although it is also not keto friendly.
4. What’s the best movie you’ve seen recently?
Recenly. . . . Well, if you consider November recent, that movie would be The Man Who Invented Christmas. It’s about Charles Dickens’ adventures in writing A Christmas Carol.
5. What is your favorite season and why?
Fall. The colorful leaves, the hint of wood smoke in the air, bright orange pumpkins and dried cornstalks. I love it!
6. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
7. What advice do you give but don’t take yourself?
It’s important to exercise regularly. Granted, I’m doing better with my fitness device.
8. If you had to choose one favorite color, what would it be?
I lean toward plum these days. Funny, but if you call it purple, I don’t like it. But plum, now that’s a color.
9. When is the last time you laughed?
Last night, watching Frasier reruns.
10. Do you prefer a tablet or actual book while reading?
I’d rather read a book. It feels more natural to me than my Kindle, and at a glance I know how much of the book I’ve read. Location 823 really doesn’t help me figure out where I am.
Now my turn to nominate:
I nominate Cheryl Carter (aka Calen) from Impromtu Promptlings. Calen has been a huge supporter of my blog, and I am very grateful for that! She has a section on her blog called “Seeker,” but I feel like that is a main theme running through her blog. (Not sure she would agree with me.) Always seeking, whether through introspection or simply taking on a topic or trying to make sense of the world.
Again, thank you, Margo, for nominating me!
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Uncovering Strawberries in Spring
Inside: It’s that time of year again–uncovering strawberries in spring. Read the latest post in our ongoing pursuit of growing great strawberries.
Yes, it’s that time of year again–or, rather, it’s past that time because normally I remove the mulch from the strawberries in March. This spring has been unseasonably cold, and I’ve hesitated uncovering the plants until this past week. Nightly temperatures in the mid-twenties will do that to a gardener.
But we’ve had a break–or maybe an end to cold weather?–and that thick layer of mulch I placed on my strawberries back in late fall needed to come off so the tender plants can have access to the sun. Tuesday afternoon I removed the hay I’d used and the strawberry plants were a green-yellow with pale yellow stems. I peeked in on them this afternoon, just two days later, and the stems are turning a deep red color and the leaves are greening up nicely. I’m eager to see them after the rain they’re predicting tomorrow.
I never tire of watching things grow!
How to Care for Strawberries in Early Spring
A few points to consider before uncovering your plants for spring. Take a peek under the mulch and see if your strawberries are starting to grow. If so, remove about half of the mulch layer and place between rows. Weather permitting (nights above freezing), in a week or so you can take off the rest of the mulch, but keep it handy to recover plants in case of hard freezes–below 28 degrees F.
Your strawberries will benefit from some fertilizer in the spring, but make sure you do not apply fertilizer between the flowering and fruiting stages. Once they do start growing, place the mulch back around the plants to keep the weeds away. I use newspaper as the bottom layer of mulch with hay on top. Strawberries hate weeds, and they will thank you for the extra attention.
Come June (or May for me) you will be rewarded with lots and lots of delicious berries.
Do you have a strawberry patch? Tell us about it in the comments.
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Is Perfectionism Holding You Back?
Inside: Do you struggle with feeling like you have to be perfect? Is perfectionism holding you back? Read on to find out.
One of my earliest memories from school is learning to print the alphabet. I was so careful to make the letters just so–perfect straight lines, perfect curves. I held myself to such high standards that I ripped holes on the lined sheets of my tablet paper from erasing what I deemed to be mistakes. Mine didn’t look like the examples posted high on the front wall in the classroom.
No one caused this tendency in me. It was something hardwired. When I grew up I often heard from adults, “Just do your best.” Good advice, to be sure. But somehow that message of trying my best got lost in the shadow of doing everything perfectly.
Can you relate?
But for the longest time–we’re talking decades–I’ve been held back by this drive to do tasks flawlessly. I set the bar way too high for myself, and it has taken time and grace to let go. Along the way I’ve learned a few things. (I’m still learning!)
Perfectionism . . .
Steals Your Creativity–and Joy
I have found, particularly when writing, if I’m so centered on being perfect in the rough draft stage, it keeps me from experimenting with new ideas or exploring other thoughts. In turn, that limits and even frustrates my creativity. Now, to be honest, I edit for a living, so I don’t have a great deal of patience with sloppy grammar and punctuation. But I’m learning to work on correcting those errors in the revision process, not when I write initially. It has taken me a while, but I have rediscovered the joy of creating through my writing instead of viewing it as a task.
Puts Impossible Expectations on Others
Another problem with perfectionism is that we often put those same standards on others who are just not wired like we are. Unfortunately I’ve held my loved ones to these standards far too often when that isn’t how God made them. For example, some people are doers, and they have a drive to complete project after project to the point of “good enough.” They often don’t see the little details, or, if they do, they make the choice to sacrifice a little in quality to get the job done. Without these types of people, so many things would simply not get done. I’ve come to appreciate this as I’ve gotten older.
Promotes Procrastination
I will often put off starting a project because I’ve placed such high demands on myself that I’m afraid I can’t meet them. So it’s much easier to keep avoiding the project than to tackle it head on and do my best. Case in point, this post has been sitting in my drafts for over a month now.
Turns You into a Demanding Critic
Similar to placing impossible expectations on others, perfectionism can make those of us who struggle with it demanding critics. We use our words to tear people down because they’re not performing to our standards. This is not okay. While there is a time and place for constructive criticism, being helpful should never make a person feel demoralized.
Keeps You from Finishing
I can’t tell you how many projects have been tossed to the side because my perfectionist tendencies have held me back and kept me from finishing. That’s where the doers among us have the advantage. They forge ahead and get things done. While we need to be true to who we are and the fact that we often see the little details, we need to finish what we start. Remain on task until completion.
How to Manage a Perfectionist Tendency
Be Patient
It takes a while to dismantle a lifetime of behavior. Start with simple things where being perfect really doesn’t matter–cleaning the bathroom mirror or sweeping the floor. Ask yourself, in which situations is “good enough” good enough?After a while, you start to see how many items on your list really don’t require maximum effort.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Admittedly, when I found out my word for the year was consistent, I envisioned a strict schedule of doing my daily tasks flawlessly–meaning never missing a day. Realistically, I knew this was impossible. But to me, consistent meant producing the same results without missing a day. That discouraged me until I found a scripture that talked of “striving” to be consistent. That set me free. Okay, I thought, I can do that. I can strive to be consistent.
It has also helped to ask the question, “What is the end goal?” So when I made fitness goals for myself and flubbed up, after my initial disappointment of not being perfect, I asked myself, what is my end goal? Is it to be perfect and not miss a day or is it to get physically fit? Naturally it is to get fit. This little question has helped me tremendously.
Remember, God Does Not Expect Perfection
For some of us, I think perfectionism points to self-esteem issues. If I do not perform perfectly, why would anyone like me? I find it interesting how many times the Creator of the Universe reminds me that He does not expect me to be perfect, so why do I expect it of myself? If we could do things perfectly, we wouldn’t need a Savior. And we definitely need a Savior! This, too, has been quite freeing to me and has given me peace and perspective.
Embrace the Messy
I have only scratched the surface here! But the truth is, the longer I go, the more I see that where real life happens it is often messy. Embracing this attitude–or I should say attempting to embrace this attitude–is making a difference. I can relax more and not feel as though I have to control everything. I can be who I really am, and, at times, that can be pretty messy, too. I don’t need to abandon structure in my life, but I don’t need to fall apart when life doesn’t go as planned. As I’ve looked back over my life, truly the parts that have blessed me the most have been totally unplanned–the family I was born into, meeting my husband, having my daughter, making good friendships. At least they weren’t planned by me.
But the One who has planned my life has done a pretty good job. And He is perfect.
Do you struggle with perfectionism? Tell us about it in the comments.
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