How to Have Hope

Inside: Is it possible to have hope during tough times? Absolutely! You can learn to focus on the positive. Read on to find out how.

Got Hope?

Hope. There is a very good reason for adding a period behind the word in the picture. In grammar terms, that makes it a complete sentence. An action verb with you as the subject. Hope isn’t just a feeling you catch. It’s something you have to work at–cultivate. Something the writer–this writer–is compelling you to do.

Hope.

But in practical terms, how does one do that? I won’t say it’s necessarily easy, but it is doable. Want to know how? Here are some suggestions for cultivating hope in tough times.

Avoid the Negative

The best place to start when developing hope is to avoid the negative. The nightly news (or daytime, for that matter), Facebook and Twitter feeds, newspapers, people who discourage or dwell on the negative. TV shows that cause panic, fear, or sadness. Dark music or books. I am a firm believer in the importance of guarding your heart. (Proverbs 4:23.)

Surround Yourself with Positive Messages

Once the negative is removed, it’s time to replace the bad with the good, and this will take some effort. Begin by changing the “diet” of your heart. What I mean by that is, much like replacing unhealthy foods with more nutritious ones, focus on positive choices in what you allow yourself to see and hear. Uplifting stories. Words of encouragement. Inspiring quotes. Scripture–my favorite is Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (That’s our unofficial motto here at ARGW and what drives our content.)

Take Care of Yourself

Don’t neglect caring for yourself. Yes, people need you, but not at the expense of depleting your mental and physical health. Get enough sleep, eat mostly healthy foods, and take time to do things that replenish you. I am reminded of the emergency directions that flight attendants give at the beginning of the flight–secure your own oxygen mask before helping others on with theirs. In the same way, you can’t take care of others properly when your soul is running on empty.

Hang out with Encouraging People

While it is not always possible to avoid negative people completely, chances are you can limit your exposure to them. Instead, seek out those who encourage you and add something to the relationship. Spend time with people who genuinely care about you and listen to what you have to say.

Choose who you give permission to speak into your life. While you might not always have a choice of who is speaking to you, you do have a choice as to whether you listen and take to heart what they say.

Do What Brings You Joy

Do you love to make crafts? Bake? Hike? Take pictures? Whatever you love to do helps to refresh you and feeds your soul.

So what does pursuing a hobby have to do with hope? You give yourself permission to live and to do activities that feel “normal” until you get to a more stable place. Your mind gets a break from scary, sad, or hopeless thoughts as you focus on what you love to do–even if at the moment you feel pretty numb.

I remember years ago when I was deeply depressed and feeling hopeless much of the time. Hard as it was–and mostly because I didn’t want to share that information with the people I knew–I kept attending my weekly writing critique meetings. I had a ritual I did before leaving the house–I spritzed myself with my favorite perfume. Why did I do that when I had zero desire to put on cologne? For me it was a leap of faith. It was believing that sometime–I didn’t know when–I would be okay. It was an act to show I wasn’t giving up when so much of me wanted to. (Spoiler alert: I did get better, thanks to God!)

Laugh More

Laughing is more important than people think. HelpGuide.org, a mental health and wellness website, says this: “Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.”

I like to relax with classic sit-coms and funny movies. The Internet is full of funny video clips from cats to babies and folks who are just plain funny. When I really need a good laugh, I have bookmarked a cat video my daughter sent me years ago that makes me laugh so hard I’m crying. Laughter is subjective, so when you find something good, try to bookmark it for when you need a good laugh, too.

Help Others

If you are in a healthy enough place and you are able to do so, helping others can be just the right thing to get your mind off your own problems and give you hope. Much like laughter, performing random acts of kindness releases dopamine, also referred to as “the helper’s high.” Giving and helping others just makes you feel good.

In times of crises, I’m reminded of something Mr. Rogers said his mother told him as he was watching something scary on the news. She wisely told him to “look for the helpers.” That story has really calmed me in the past–and continues to do so–when I see situations that are beyond my control. And if I can join in with even some small act of kindness myself, I’m doing something proactive–plus giving hope to others! Don’t underestimate a kind word or smile or opening the door for someone. That simple gesture might just be the cup of cold water another parched soul needs that day.

Be Thankful

For me, developing thankfulness has been instrumental in helping me to heal. At first it can be difficult, coming up with anything to be thankful for when hope is in short supply. But as with so much of life, the more you practice gratefulness, the more your eyes open to the many, many things you have to be thankful for. I actually keep a gratitude journal, with daily lists of things both small and big for which I am grateful for. By the way, this is also good for mental health, activating reward centers in the brain and boosting bonds with other people. In those suffering from depression and anxiety, it can even lessen symptoms.

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Often hope is something you have to work at, but it’s worth the effort. Hang in there, my friend.

I’ll leave you with a song to motivate you.

Resources and related posts:

HelpGuide.org “Laughter is the Best Medicine”

25 Ways to Be Good to Yourself

Salvaging a Bad Day

How to Be a Peacemaker

When Seasons Linger

When Your New Year Didn’t Go as Planned

 

Past Posts From This Month:

Colorful, Mini Milestones, and Other News Fresh From the Farm (2019)

Second Chance Month, Dog Reunion, and Other News Fresh From the Farm (2018)

Old-timers (2017)