Inside: Sometimes Christmas is not what you hoped for or expected–for different reasons, different seasons.
Different Reasons, Different Seasons
We canceled Christmas this year. No big family get-together with stacks of presents under Mom’s tree. No Christmas feast with family favorites. No family gathered round for the reading of the Christmas story, no blizzard of torn wrapping paper covering the living room floor after opening presents. . .
This wasn’t our choice. Right smack dab in the middle of holiday preparations, Mom and I got sick with covid. At that point the to-do list pretty much went out the window. No energy, no desire. No taste or smell.
I didn’t take it very well. Disappointed, and, if I’m being honest, a little mad at God. . .
Mad at God? Whose birthday is this, anyway?
Ouch.
Not one of my better moments. But getting sick rerouted me, and I didn’t want to be rerouted. I was happy doing my usual thing. Ready for my yearly download of seasonal joy. This year, besides being sick, I’ve been sad, distracted, and with a general feeling of malaise. I found myself saying to Mike, “All I want for Christmas is my sense of taste and smell back, and a hug.” He happened to not get sick, and we had to keep him healthy to work. December is the busiest month if you work at a church. So separation in the same house. Not easy.
Not much about this year feels joyous. Yet Mom and I decided that she and I would meet at her house. I read the Christmas story, and we took communion together before exchanging gifts. No, it wasn’t the same without the rest of the family. I unwrapped my gifts at the table, and she did as well. Then it was time to go. But before I left, I called her into the living room and tossed my spent wrapping paper on the floor.
“Look at all the wrapping paper all over the floor!” I said, joking. She laughed as we thought back to all of the Christmases with Christmas paper covering the floor. Trash bags full of the stuff.
We lingered a moment at the door, and she gave me a hug.
“Next year is going to be an amazing Christmas!” I said. And she agreed.
Different reasons, different seasons, yet a quiet, understated, yet no less persistent joy emerges.
God with us.
Indeed, He never left.
This day in past posts:
The 12 Posts of Christmas, Day 11: It’s Okay to Say ‘Merry Christmas‘ 2017
The 12 Posts of Christmas, Day 11: Stable Reflections 2018
The 12 Posts of Christmas, Day 11: Our Family’s Christmas Eve Traditions 2019
The 12 Posts of Christmas, Day 11: What I Want Most for Christmas 2020